A LIFETIME OF TRYING TO GET SOME
THE EARLY YEARS Before any of us actually have sex, a whole era is devoted to beating around the bush. Heavy petting, steamy makeouts, and olympic-level dry humping are the…
Words of Wisdom to My 20-Year-Old Self
😎 You’ll stop chasing bad boys and start chasing grams of protein. 💤 Back pain isn’t from sleeping funny. It’s youth quietly packing its bags. 🍆 If you thought dry…
My Tamagotchi Didn’t Adequately Prepare Me For Motherhood
We recently dragged out family albums to remind our adult children what excellent parenting looks like. I was flabbergasted to learn my favourite flashbacks seemed oddly fresh to them. And,…
It Is What It Is ✨
🍷 I can’t party two nights in a row (a seasoned wisdom, not weakness). 🚘 My behind-the-wheel night vision blurred in the blinker of an eye. 💤 I don’t sleep…
New Year’s Wish List 2026🎉
December came in like a lamb and went out like a little bitch. In one month, four of our family members were sidelined. One got pneumonia, one was ambushed by…
Sisters From Multiple Misters
VAL: My sister Lori and I are more like twins than sisters. We share a wicked sense of humour, and a strong second chin. The eldest by three years, I…
Confessions Of A Screen Fiend
When I wake in the morning, the first light to hit my eyes isn’t the golden glow of a sunrise. Instead, my sleep-crusted peepers dilate to the radiant blue glare…
Parenting Your Parents
As Mom’s age progresses and her dependency increases, there’s a tightrope to walk. No one likes being told what to do, not when you’re six, and definitely not when you’re…
A Tale Of Two Wedding Dresses
Once upon a time, there was a Princess named Valerie who was more focused on breaking the glass ceiling than finding a glass slipper. One enchanted evening she met her…
